Saturday, March 4, 2017

Pursuing the Fire

Imagine you're in a desert, where there is no rain, no sunshine, and not even a breeze. You're standing in the middle and all is still, simply calm. There is nothing happening in the desert and it feels like you are so alone. We would all be lying if we said we never faced a dry season in our walk with Christ. A season where it feels like there is no rain, no shine, and no breeze. A season where it feels like there is no way out of the stillness.

Ezekiel 37: 5-6; "This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord."

Whenever you are in a valley of dry bones, a season of silence, you long for something. A drop of water, or a taste of a blessing, or the comfort from your Father; anything to make you feel again. So, I had a thought. What if we used that one drop of water as gasoline to fuel our fire? What if we focused on one thing to push us to pursue the fire within? I think so many times when we go through these dry seasons we want a flood. We want action and we want this flood of feeling to come back into our bodies, but what if it is just one thing we need? Maybe God prepares us for the flood by sending us through the desert. Maybe there is just one thing we need to find before we dive into the flood. Find your fuel, whether it is reading, writing, singing, or taking out the trash. Find that one thing that makes it all worth it to you. God is amazing, and He himself is what makes this walk all worth it, but what is that one thing that sets you on fire? Let God send you one drop in your desert storm and let that one drop fuel your fire. The best thing to do when you feel alone, and so far away from God is to pursue Him more than you ever have before. Pursue your fire and watch God send the flood.

Hosea 6:3; "Let us know, Let us pursue the knowledge of the Lord, His going forth is established as the morning, He will come like the rain, like the latter and former rain to the earth."

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Unexpected Blessings

It's no secret that we constantly go through different seasons in life. Time is always moving, and it seems as our situations are always different. One day you're a freshman preparing for the next four dreaded years of schooling and high school drama, then before you know it you're getting close to finish the line, and preparing for your final year. Wait, maybe that's just me.. but whatever your circumstances are I'm sure you've come to the same realization I have. Time doesn't slow down for anyone and the things you face in that amount of time that has flown by is simply mind blowing. 

I am no stranger to road trips. I have taken family road trips all of my life and they are very dear memories. These road trips are a wonderful experience and they make for really good conversation. While on a recent road trip I was talking with my parents about how far our family has come. Four years ago, I would have never imagined that my dad would pass away. Two years ago, I would have never imagined that my mom would get remarried. What I thought was the worst possible thing to happen to me has become one of the best parts of my life. Taking two families and turning them into one is not an easy process. We've had our struggles but to think about how far we all have come is such an amazing thought. 

Growing up with a sister is so different than having brothers. I never wanted brothers or any other siblings then the one I had. It could be that my sister is just so wonderful (which she is) or the fact that I wanted to be the baby and threatened my mom and dad that I would run away if anything other then that happened. Anyway, I never imagined having brothers let alone having three. At first the news of our family merging was hard to hear but now my step dad, my brothers, and my sister-in-law are some of the closest and best relationships I have. I loved my little family then, and I love my big family now. It's amazing how God works things out. 

My life is proof that things don't always turn out how you want them to. Certainly, things have taken place where I thought there was no good possible out come but here I am almost 3 years later and completely content with how God turned things around. It's hard to understand His plan, most days I still find myself questioning it, but even with that I trust His will. Time is flying by and I'm holding on for dear life. I'm praying the Lord prepares me for whatever crazy changes come my way, and that He will always help me to see the bright side. 

Saturday, January 21, 2017


At the beginning of the year most people make New Year resolutions, you know things they swear to do or to work on but it never really happens. While others choose one word to focus on throughout the year. Personally, I like that better. It doesn't demand attention or a strong commitment. You don't have to swear you're going to change or that this one thing is going to happen, but it's an idea and an encouragement to yourself. Here's what you need to focus on this year.. that seems simple enough, right?

At the beginning of the year I didn't have a word. It wasn't that I couldn't think of one but the exact opposite problem. I thought of too many, there is so many words I can relate to. There's so many things I personally need to work on and grow on, so it was hard for me to pick just one to really focus on. So here we are a few weeks in and I have finally picked a word.

Define. You may ask, define what? What does that mean? This year I want to focus on defining myself. I am not perfect, I do make mistakes, I do let God down, I do let myself down, and I do let others down. But one thing I truly need to learn is that my mistakes don't define me. I am not going to let my past direct my future. I am not going to let my mistakes define who I am. What is important to me is that I define myself and who I am in Christ then let God deal with the rest. This year is about letting God have his way, and giving him complete control over my life. This year is about finally seeing who I am in this world, God's Kingdom. I can't wait to see what the rest of this year has in store.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Switching Roles

What is a father? A father is someone who supports you, guides you, and molds you. A father is someone who protects you, teaches you, and loves you. A father is someone who is concerned about you, willing to sacrifice for you, and who is proud of you. A father is someone who is meant to discern, forgive, and provide. A father is a friend, a body guard, and a giant teddy bear. In your father's arms you feel protected, loved, and cared for. There is no other feeling in the world like the feeling of being held in your father's arms. Asking this question about the meaning of a father leads me to ask the question..what is a child? Rather, what does it mean to be a child, a child of a father?

A child has no age limit. We are all children to our Heavenly Father, and to our earthly parents. We will always be our parent's children. But what does it mean to be a child? No, the answer isn't wearing diapers and playing with toys for the rest of our lives. Being a child is far more than that. A child is someone who is teachable, willing to learn, and curious about new ways, old ways, any way. A child is strong in hard times, happy in good times, and loving when there is no love to be found anywhere else. A child is a gift, a gift from God, meant to be loved and show love. A child is a miracle to a parent, to a grandparent, to a sibling, and to this world. A child is a connection and a relationship. A connection between the parents, between the parents and God, and between the parents and himself. A relationship is formed between a parent and a child. This relationship is an incredible bond to never be broken or harmed.

In this relationship you share many things. Maybe some jokes, memories, advice, but most importantly unconditional love. The relationship I want to talk about isn't a general relationship between a father and a child, but between a father and a daughter. Not just any father and daughter, but my dad and me. My relationship with my dad will always be one of the most important things to me. The Lord blessed me with such an amazing, inspiring man to call my dad. There are not enough words in the English dictionary to describe how lucky I am to have this man as my dad. My dad is a lot to me, he is my hero, my inspiration, my motivation, my rock, my best friend, but overall my dad is the reason I hold on. He set such an example for me that my main goal is to make him proud, no matter what. I aspire to live a life like my dad did, but not because he was perfect. The opposite actually, because he wasn't perfect but he found a way that worked for him. Boy, did it work for him. I aspire to leave this world with a great impact on it just as my dad did. I do not have these crazy aspirations because of a false image of my father but because of a relationship I developed with him as a little girl, and because of the relationship I saw my father have with the Lord. The relationship between a parent and a child is responsible for changing the world someday. I am fully confident that my relationship with my dad will change the world someday, and that makes me really proud.

You may be wondering about the title of this blog, and how what you have read so far has anything to do with it so I'll let you in. A parent is proud of their child, even down to the simplest things. A parent will always see the best in their child, and believe in them. I am thankful for those type of parents, and God truly blessed me with a mom and dad who are always proud of me. Since my dad has passed I feel as if I have switched roles with him. I feel as if I know what it feels like to be proud of a child because of how proud I am of my dad, and the life he lived. My dad is the ultimate standard in my life. In my eyes there is no one greater, and no one who can compare to my father. I can only imagine that is how a parent must feel about their own child. My love and appreciation grows more each day that my dad is not here with me. I see my dad in such a different light, not only as just my dad, but who he was as a person. Both of which are truly amazing, and a true blessing from God. With all of that being said I believe now that not only are children a gift from God, but a parent is too. A relationship with that parent is a miracle. Everyday I am thankful for my miracle, my relationship with my dad that I will be able to hold on to forever.

Dad, I got a glimpse of you when I looked in the mirror. What I was seeing wasn't me, but an image of you. For that I am honored, not just to look like you but to share so many qualities with you. You are everything I hope to be, and what I will spend my whole life trying to accomplish. In my own way, of course, I wish to live a life like yours just as God has called me to do. Thank you for providing for me, loving me, protecting me, teaching me, and inspiring me. Thank you for being my hero, and my guardian angel. I miss you, and love you more than life itself.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

What are you listening to?

"Actions speak louder than words." You have to prove what you say by what you do. It's more believable to see someone living for Christ then to hear that someone is living for Christ. My opinion is that although many people say this quote and swear they live by it, they really don't. Isn't funny, how when someone's actions speak louder than their words we still don't listen? Why do we cling to words, and disregard actions? Aren't actions what really matter here? Anyone can say they're going to do something, anyone can say that they mean something, but what do they do to prove it? Are they showing you positive actions to assure you of their words, or are they disproving everything you have been believing? I am guilty of holding on to other's words, and letting their actions pass by me without any notice. Two reasons, their words are what I want to hear, and their actions are not what I want to see nor believe. I question myself and everyone else who lives by this quote. What are we doing? When did actions become words, and words become actions? How strong would our faith be if God only said things to us instead of showing us. Would you believe in God's love, forgiveness, grace if he did nothing to show for it? Actions do speak louder than words. I think it's time we start listening to what really matters.

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Tearing Down Your Walls

     "Use your mistakes to build stairs, not walls."  This quote hits very close to home. For awhile now, and especially now I've been struggling with myself. Some mistakes I have made, the way people feel about me, and mostly the way I feel about myself. I've been waiting to feel something inside that makes me want to be better for myself. A spark of recognition that makes me realize I need to feel better about myself and that I need to be better in general. Today, as I read that quote I felt that feeling. I have put walls up from being hurt and from hurting myself but I realize it's not all about that. It's not good to have walls up because that really doesn't leave much room for God to use you. Although I believe it's important to protect yourself, the Bible also says that we don't have to. God will protect us. "The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still." (Exodus 14:14) The Bible also talks about God's protection in Psalms 91, so yes it's important to have discernment and to protect your own heart but God has us in the palm of His hand. I realize that it's not all about me protecting myself from getting hurt but becoming stronger and strong enough to hand over all of my hurts and all of my pain to God. I don't want my walls to hinder the plan God has for me and what He has called me to do. How used of God can you be if you have walls up all around you? What kind of a blessing will you be to someone if you are isolating yourself from spreading the gospel? I'm tearing down my walls, and I'm building stairs instead. The Lord will lead me and guide me to the person who He wants and needs me to be. I fully trust in my Father and everything He sees in me! 

Monday, June 13, 2016

Slow down

As a new driver I'm starting to learn new things, and I'm beginning to be more comfortable behind the wheel. I am more confident and I am bolder with the decisions I make while driving. One of my biggest battles I face while driving is the yellow light. I think to myself should I go for it, or should I stop? The other day while driving through a yellow light I had a thought. Isn't it funny how the yellow light means to slow down and to be cautious but most of the time we do the exact opposite. Instead of coming to a complete stop if possible we speed up in order to beat the red light we know is coming. Then I had another thought.. How many times do we do that in our spirit life? How many times does God gives us a yellow light and tells us to slow down but instead we speed up and rush into things?  There have been many times in my life that I have not waited on God. I ignored his yellow light that is telling me to slow down and to trust him. I always feel that I have it under control until I realize I rushed into something God was trying to protect me from.  God is simply warning us and  encouraging us to slow down. Faith in God includes faith in his timing. God's timing is always the right timing. I don't want to ignore the yellow lights God places in my life, I want to be obedient, and I want to trust in him. Just a thought!