Monday, November 7, 2016

Switching Roles

What is a father? A father is someone who supports you, guides you, and molds you. A father is someone who protects you, teaches you, and loves you. A father is someone who is concerned about you, willing to sacrifice for you, and who is proud of you. A father is someone who is meant to discern, forgive, and provide. A father is a friend, a body guard, and a giant teddy bear. In your father's arms you feel protected, loved, and cared for. There is no other feeling in the world like the feeling of being held in your father's arms. Asking this question about the meaning of a father leads me to ask the question..what is a child? Rather, what does it mean to be a child, a child of a father?

A child has no age limit. We are all children to our Heavenly Father, and to our earthly parents. We will always be our parent's children. But what does it mean to be a child? No, the answer isn't wearing diapers and playing with toys for the rest of our lives. Being a child is far more than that. A child is someone who is teachable, willing to learn, and curious about new ways, old ways, any way. A child is strong in hard times, happy in good times, and loving when there is no love to be found anywhere else. A child is a gift, a gift from God, meant to be loved and show love. A child is a miracle to a parent, to a grandparent, to a sibling, and to this world. A child is a connection and a relationship. A connection between the parents, between the parents and God, and between the parents and himself. A relationship is formed between a parent and a child. This relationship is an incredible bond to never be broken or harmed.

In this relationship you share many things. Maybe some jokes, memories, advice, but most importantly unconditional love. The relationship I want to talk about isn't a general relationship between a father and a child, but between a father and a daughter. Not just any father and daughter, but my dad and me. My relationship with my dad will always be one of the most important things to me. The Lord blessed me with such an amazing, inspiring man to call my dad. There are not enough words in the English dictionary to describe how lucky I am to have this man as my dad. My dad is a lot to me, he is my hero, my inspiration, my motivation, my rock, my best friend, but overall my dad is the reason I hold on. He set such an example for me that my main goal is to make him proud, no matter what. I aspire to live a life like my dad did, but not because he was perfect. The opposite actually, because he wasn't perfect but he found a way that worked for him. Boy, did it work for him. I aspire to leave this world with a great impact on it just as my dad did. I do not have these crazy aspirations because of a false image of my father but because of a relationship I developed with him as a little girl, and because of the relationship I saw my father have with the Lord. The relationship between a parent and a child is responsible for changing the world someday. I am fully confident that my relationship with my dad will change the world someday, and that makes me really proud.

You may be wondering about the title of this blog, and how what you have read so far has anything to do with it so I'll let you in. A parent is proud of their child, even down to the simplest things. A parent will always see the best in their child, and believe in them. I am thankful for those type of parents, and God truly blessed me with a mom and dad who are always proud of me. Since my dad has passed I feel as if I have switched roles with him. I feel as if I know what it feels like to be proud of a child because of how proud I am of my dad, and the life he lived. My dad is the ultimate standard in my life. In my eyes there is no one greater, and no one who can compare to my father. I can only imagine that is how a parent must feel about their own child. My love and appreciation grows more each day that my dad is not here with me. I see my dad in such a different light, not only as just my dad, but who he was as a person. Both of which are truly amazing, and a true blessing from God. With all of that being said I believe now that not only are children a gift from God, but a parent is too. A relationship with that parent is a miracle. Everyday I am thankful for my miracle, my relationship with my dad that I will be able to hold on to forever.

Dad, I got a glimpse of you when I looked in the mirror. What I was seeing wasn't me, but an image of you. For that I am honored, not just to look like you but to share so many qualities with you. You are everything I hope to be, and what I will spend my whole life trying to accomplish. In my own way, of course, I wish to live a life like yours just as God has called me to do. Thank you for providing for me, loving me, protecting me, teaching me, and inspiring me. Thank you for being my hero, and my guardian angel. I miss you, and love you more than life itself.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

What are you listening to?

"Actions speak louder than words." You have to prove what you say by what you do. It's more believable to see someone living for Christ then to hear that someone is living for Christ. My opinion is that although many people say this quote and swear they live by it, they really don't. Isn't funny, how when someone's actions speak louder than their words we still don't listen? Why do we cling to words, and disregard actions? Aren't actions what really matter here? Anyone can say they're going to do something, anyone can say that they mean something, but what do they do to prove it? Are they showing you positive actions to assure you of their words, or are they disproving everything you have been believing? I am guilty of holding on to other's words, and letting their actions pass by me without any notice. Two reasons, their words are what I want to hear, and their actions are not what I want to see nor believe. I question myself and everyone else who lives by this quote. What are we doing? When did actions become words, and words become actions? How strong would our faith be if God only said things to us instead of showing us. Would you believe in God's love, forgiveness, grace if he did nothing to show for it? Actions do speak louder than words. I think it's time we start listening to what really matters.

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Tearing Down Your Walls

     "Use your mistakes to build stairs, not walls."  This quote hits very close to home. For awhile now, and especially now I've been struggling with myself. Some mistakes I have made, the way people feel about me, and mostly the way I feel about myself. I've been waiting to feel something inside that makes me want to be better for myself. A spark of recognition that makes me realize I need to feel better about myself and that I need to be better in general. Today, as I read that quote I felt that feeling. I have put walls up from being hurt and from hurting myself but I realize it's not all about that. It's not good to have walls up because that really doesn't leave much room for God to use you. Although I believe it's important to protect yourself, the Bible also says that we don't have to. God will protect us. "The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still." (Exodus 14:14) The Bible also talks about God's protection in Psalms 91, so yes it's important to have discernment and to protect your own heart but God has us in the palm of His hand. I realize that it's not all about me protecting myself from getting hurt but becoming stronger and strong enough to hand over all of my hurts and all of my pain to God. I don't want my walls to hinder the plan God has for me and what He has called me to do. How used of God can you be if you have walls up all around you? What kind of a blessing will you be to someone if you are isolating yourself from spreading the gospel? I'm tearing down my walls, and I'm building stairs instead. The Lord will lead me and guide me to the person who He wants and needs me to be. I fully trust in my Father and everything He sees in me! 

Monday, June 13, 2016

Slow down

As a new driver I'm starting to learn new things, and I'm beginning to be more comfortable behind the wheel. I am more confident and I am bolder with the decisions I make while driving. One of my biggest battles I face while driving is the yellow light. I think to myself should I go for it, or should I stop? The other day while driving through a yellow light I had a thought. Isn't it funny how the yellow light means to slow down and to be cautious but most of the time we do the exact opposite. Instead of coming to a complete stop if possible we speed up in order to beat the red light we know is coming. Then I had another thought.. How many times do we do that in our spirit life? How many times does God gives us a yellow light and tells us to slow down but instead we speed up and rush into things?  There have been many times in my life that I have not waited on God. I ignored his yellow light that is telling me to slow down and to trust him. I always feel that I have it under control until I realize I rushed into something God was trying to protect me from.  God is simply warning us and  encouraging us to slow down. Faith in God includes faith in his timing. God's timing is always the right timing. I don't want to ignore the yellow lights God places in my life, I want to be obedient, and I want to trust in him. Just a thought!

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Jesus Is Always The Answer

We have all heard the saying, "Jesus is always the answer." Is that really true? How could Jesus really be the answer to everything? I mean, Jesus can't be the answer to that algebra problem on the math test. Let's think deeper though, is Jesus the answer to all of your real problems and situations you face in your life? The answer is yes.

Up until recently I laughed at that what seems like a silly saying, because even I didn't believe that Jesus could possibly be the answer to everything. I quickly found out that I was wrong. As I searched and searched for a different and possible answer to my problems I always came up empty. The world didn't offer me any deserving answers. The answers the world gave me tended to leave me with an even bigger question. I couldn't even turn to my family or friends because they didn't have the right answer either. Finally, it dawned on me that only Jesus could give me the right answer. Of course, his answer won't always be the answer that I want but if he's giving it to me then it's definitely what's right for me in the end. Sometimes we doubt him by asking the questions we ask, and then we take it a step further by doubting his answer. But if there is one thing I have learned not only is he simply the right answer but his answer to our questions, our prayers will always be right. So go ahead and laugh about it. Laugh about the silly saying that people spread around, but if you ask me a question I know what my answer will be. Jesus, and every time it will be Jesus. He has yet to fail me, so how could he be wrong?

Tuesday, March 15, 2016


The worst thing I have ever experienced is loss. Three years ago I lost my dad and this year I lost myself. I've always had a sense of who I was or more like who I should be. Be a strong, happy girl who loves and serves the Lord. It doesn't seem like such a hard task until you realize you have to grow up too. Growing up means more difficult challenges and facing temptations. It means finally being tall enough for the roller coaster we call life. I wasn't prepared for the drop. One day, I was that strong, happy girl and the next I was the girl who lost her dad. It's hard to face such a tragedy and still keep a smile, but that's what I did. I remained strong but I had lost my happiness. Of course, God restored me but then I faced another challenge. Not only continuously grieving the loss of my dad, but moving into a new life. I should have relied on God but I was surrounded by others that I didn't know. I felt abandoned and as if no one else could understand my relationship with God. As a teenager it is hard to take a stand for what you believe in when everyone else is standing up for something else. Everything I thought I knew about myself and my life became a blur. I lost my relationship with God because I was afraid of being alone and not being accepted. I started to experience a life outside of God. Then I convinced myself that living a life of sin was easier than standing alone. I was wrong. When I lost Him, I lost myself. That strong girl became weak, lost, unhappy, and insecure. Most days, I couldn't look at myself and getting out of bed was a struggle. I was ashamed of who I became and I couldn't forgive myself for letting God down. I find it so easy to forgive others but so incredibly hard to forgive myself for what I have done wrong. Living a life without God is not easier, we don't always understand what He has planned, but He will always be the way to go. Although, I struggle to forgive myself, God does not struggle to forgive me. His forgiveness is my chance to start over and to find myself again. I am not perfect but I am not my mistakes. I know I am able to love myself because God loves me no matter what. It's never to late to be found again in Him.

Friday, January 1, 2016

The New Year

Going into 2016 I have no resolutions, no goals, and I don't even have dreams for the New Year. See, I don't want to claim I'm going to do something so great with this year that God has blessed me with and then not do it. I don't want to start something and then give up. So what do I want? I want 2016 to be a year of creation. I want to find something, or more accurately, I want to find someone.. Myself. 

So often we let the years fly by us. We go through the motions, literally saying if I can just get through this year. Then the next year comes and we're back to square one. What if we stopped letting the years fly by us? What if we actually made something out of them? And what if, just what if we actually made something out of ourselves? Maybe this is just me feeling this way, but I'm tired of going through the motions. I want to make something out of my New Year's and something out of it when it's old. This year my plan is to find myself in something that will recreate me into who I really want to be. As much as we don't like change, I do believe that the best change is the change you see in yourself when you have become who you want to be, and the best version of who you really are.