Dear Perfectionist

I was thinking about how, when I was a little girl, I would immediately run to my mom or dad to tell them about anything good I did. It usually ended with them saying, “Wow! I’m so proud of you.”

I don’t know exactly when I learned that there’s a reward for doing good, even if the reward is just a simple “I’m proud of you,” but that became everything to me.

“Dad, I read my Bible!”
“I’m proud of you, Madison!”

“Mom, Dad! I made all A’s!”
“We’re so proud of you, Madison! Good job!”

At that time, all I knew was that what I was doing was good. It pleased my parents. It made them proud.

But somewhere along the way, pleasing turned into perfection.

Perfectionism became my struggle, not just doing the right things, but doing all the right things right. That’s an incredible amount of pressure.

This kind of pressure made me afraid to fail. Afraid that failure would change how people saw me, loved me, or appreciated me. I carry that weight constantly. I’ve let what was once about pleasing become about being perfect.

But the good news is this: God doesn’t require perfection from us. That was never His desire. A goal of perfection only sets us up for disappointment. Before we do anything, He is already proud. As sons and daughters, our Father is pleased.

Following Him, reading His Word, praying, and spending time with Him—these things are pleasing, but we don’t have to strive to earn His presence. We can come just as we are: free from the fear of failure and the pressure to be perfect.

Pleasing and perfect aren’t the same.

“I spent time with You today!”
“I’m proud of you, daughter.”

Daughter. Son. The greatest title we could ever carry. Being loved and known by a Heavenly Father who loves us unconditionally.

Dear Perfectionist, rest.
Rest in your Father’s embrace, and know that before you do a thing, you are already pleasing to Him.

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