Thinking Out Loud

To my hero, In the past five years without you, I have experienced more pain and more joy than I could have ever imagined possible. In some ways it feels as if time has flown by, but in other ways it feels like it has been an eternity since you left us. I wanted to do something special to honor you today so I am writing you this letter. I remember the day the Lord called you home, I remember walking down the hallway, hanging on to Pastor's side for dear life, and in that moment I felt as if time were in slow motion. I remember the tears running down my face and wondering if I would ever reach the end of that hallway. I knew that the worst was waiting for me and that my life was about to change forever. Saying goodbye to you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but in that room there was so much peace. Peace I had never felt before, but peace I would soon become familiar with. Since you've been gone so much has changed. There is not one thing that is the same and I...

Isaiah 43:1-3, " Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you are in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're in between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end -- Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior." I want to break down these verses to really get down to the meaning, to really grasp the depth of what this scripture is saying. In the first verse it reads, "Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine." We cannot forget who we belong to. When you are going through tough times and you are doubting everything in existence remember who you belong to. You are the child of the one true King. No matter what you have done in the past or what you are doing in the present, God has redeemed you. He has called you by name and you are His. Think about it for a secon...

Anyone who really knows me knows that I am without a doubt a perfectionist. I constantly feel pressure for everything to be perfect at all times. Whether it's as tiny as my locker being completely organized from the smallest book to the largest book, or the perfect outfit for a certain occasion, or just constantly trying to be prepared for anything and everything. It's a little bit of my OCD but a whole lot of my need for perfection. Throughout my walk with Christ this has been my struggle, trying to be perfect in an imperfect world with an imperfect body, mind, and spirit. See, the problem is I feel that I have to be in a perfect standing with God to give Him praise or worship, or to be in any type of communication with Him. I feel the pressure to be a perfect child in order to receive love, forgiveness, grace or mercy, or any blessing. If I feel like I am anything less than perfect in my relationship with God, I slack off. I simply stop trying because if I don't feel pe...

Have you ever played that game where you're shown a close-up of an image and you have to try to guess what it is then you see the full image and it's usually totally different then what you guessed it to be? Yeah well, this is how I find our walk with Christ to often turn out. God puts us in a up-close and personal situation where it is difficult to see the bigger picture. This is one of the most basic messages but it is true. This is a struggle we have all faced in life. Here are a few questions that come to my mind when I think of these "situations"... How can we trust God when we can't see what He is doing? What is God doing? How do I go on? It can be difficult to be in a situation where there seems to be no way out. It can be heartbreaking to be in a situation where you simply don't understand what God is trying to do. It can be frustrating to be in a situation where it seems that more harm than good is coming your way and it's all at the hands of Go...

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Genesis 50:20 NIV "Joseph replied, Don't be afraid. Do I act for God? Don't you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now --- life for many people. Easy now, you have nothing to fear. I'll take care of you and your children." Genesis 50:20 MSG Can I just brag on God's love for a second? His love is impeccable, absolutely breathtaking. I cannot help but be eternally grateful for a love that never fails, and never forsakes me. God's love that hears all prayers, gives strengths, directs paths, calms spirits, forgives souls, comforts the weak, provides, protects, gives an abundance of grace, and so on and so on. God's love is steadfast. His love lasts forever. Wow, God's love is amazing! How do you face diversity? How do you handle attacks? There are...

You know what will never cease to amaze me? Time. It's always said how time passes you by, how everything changes in time, and how you should never take it for granted. I hate how we really do take it for granted but in some ways we can't really help it. We live our life, and we go by our routines. We do what we have to do and don't even think about all the time that is passing by. It finally dawns on us during a graduation, a wedding, a birth, a death, or an accident. All of sudden, we stop and pause and think "wow so much has changed". So much can change in a year.. this is true. It's also true that so much can change in a split second. There's something so magical and tragic about time. We're running out of it and that's tragic. We're living in it and that's magical. Can you believe all that God can do in one blink of an eye? Yet we still ask if He is doing anything for us at all. What can we do in the blink of an eye? Nothing compares ...

Imagine you're in a desert, where there is no rain, no sunshine, and not even a breeze. You're standing in the middle and all is still, simply calm. There is nothing happening in the desert and it feels like you are so alone. We would all be lying if we said we never faced a dry season in our walk with Christ. A season where it feels like there is no rain, no shine, and no breeze. A season where it feels like there is no way out of the stillness. Ezekiel 37: 5-6; "This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord." Whenever you are in a valley of dry bones, a season of silence, you long for something. A drop of water, or a taste of a blessing, or the comfort from your Father; anything to make you feel again. So, I had a thought. What ...

It's no secret that we constantly go through different seasons in life. Time is always moving, and it seems as our situations are always different. One day you're a freshman preparing for the next four dreaded years of schooling and high school drama, then before you know it you're getting close to finish the line, and preparing for your final year. Wait, maybe that's just me.. but whatever your circumstances are I'm sure you've come to the same realization I have. Time doesn't slow down for anyone and the things you face in that amount of time that has flown by is simply mind blowing.  I am no stranger to road trips. I have taken family road trips all of my life and they are very dear memories. These road trips are a wonderful experience and they make for really good conversation. While on a recent road trip I was talking with my parents about how far our family has come. Four years ago, I would have never imagined that my dad would pass away. Two year...

At the beginning of the year most people make New Year resolutions, you know things they swear to do or to work on but it never really happens. While others choose one word to focus on throughout the year. Personally, I like that better. It doesn't demand attention or a strong commitment. You don't have to swear you're going to change or that this one thing is going to happen, but it's an idea and an encouragement to yourself. Here's what you need to focus on this year.. that seems simple enough, right? At the beginning of the year I didn't have a word. It wasn't that I couldn't think of one but the exact opposite problem. I thought of too many, there is so many words I can relate to. There's so many things I personally need to work on and grow on, so it was hard for me to pick just one to really focus on. So here we are a few weeks in and I have finally picked a word. Define. You may ask, define what? What does that mean? This year I want to foc...