Thinking Out Loud

 What if I started writing again and didn't tell anyone?  What if I let all the thoughts in my mind out and didn't care what anyone thought? What if I expressed my creativity without hesitation?  What if I didn't run away from my passion?  What if I just thought out loud?  I started my blog at thirteen years old, shortly after my dad passed away. He and I shared the same love for writing, and I wanted a way to honor him---grieve him, too. As I read back on my older posts, I am both embarrassed and proud of myself. Mostly, proud. I've grown throughout the years. My craft has developed, and so has my life.  My dad often wrote about how he took breaks from writing for one reason or another, but he always came back to it. It was his way of being creative and releasing all of the thoughts, ideas, and innovation the Lord stirred up in his spirit.  I love reading through his old blog posts because there's still wisdom in his words to glean for today. As I rea...

The beginning of 2010 was a crucial point in my family's life. My dad was preaching a New Year's Day service when he suffered a massive heart attack that nearly took his life. Thankfully, God was faithful to intervene and save him. A few weeks later, my dad had open heart surgery and began a long journey towards recovery. About a year later, my dad felt the Lord speaking a message to him to share with others. It was in his obedience to God's calling that my dad wrote his book, Living Largely .  This book, Living Largely was birthed out of a season where life was hard. It seemed as if all hope was lost. This season brought a lot of hardship for my family, but it was a time where my dad experienced true life change. He began to appreciate and embrace life more abundantly.  Fast forward and a couple years later, my dad passed away from a stroke. My father's passing was unexpected and paralyzing for everyone who knew and loved him. On the day my dad met Jesus, I made him a...

I was thinking about waiting and how difficult it can be. It never seems to get easier even the more you wait. This thought lead me to reflect on the season I currently find myself in. It feels as if I am waiting and waiting and waiting. I thought to myself, "This isn't the first time you've waited and it certainly won't be the last." In every season I feel as if I am constantly waiting for answers, direction, the right person to come along, and I continue to wait and wait and wait--you get it by now, right? So why is it so difficult to wait? Perhaps it is because it feels like we are lacking or missing out on something. Maybe our human nature's struggle to be still. Or maybe we are simply just bored. We are constantly looking to move forward; never content right where we are in the present. The truth is that we are an impatient people. Psalm 46 says, "Be still and know." Why can't we be still and know? The key is to be still, cease striving and ...

Almost six years ago I was given a prophecy, a word from the Lord. The prophecy stated that I would write a book entitled, "Through My Father's Eyes." It was also said that through the writing of the book I would find healing. I always believed that the title referred to my earthly father's passing and the healing that would take place would be healing of loss and grief. For years I have held onto this word from God. At times I have questioned when it would come to pass or if ever. I believe that God's word is not void and that He keeps His promises, but I have felt so far from this prophecy for such a long time. In fact, I have doubted if any of His promises will be fulfilled despite what I know to be true. I recently read a few chapters of my dad's book, "Living Largely." Throughout the book my dad discusses what it means and what it takes to live a large life. One of his points that stood out to me the most is not only how to live largely but al...

It's been close to a year since I last published a blog post. I have been struggling to write for a while now. I find it difficult to write because it seems easier to believe the lies I tell myself than to believe the truth. Every time I sit down to write, I begin critiquing my writing and comparing myself to others. I convince myself that what I have to say isn't worth reading. People often say that comparison is the thief of joy and I have found this to be true. Comparison has kept me from doing the one thing I am certain that I am called to do. Writing has meant a lot to me for several years and it's about time I stop letting the enemy steal my joy. I started my blog seven years ago, shortly after my father passed away. I wanted an outlet to express myself. When people discover that I have a blog they usually ask what I write about, in which I respond, "Whatever God tells me to." My blog (or writing in general) became more than an outlet for me; it became ...

Here's what happened... This semester I struggled. I lost the strength and boldness that I know resides within me. I lost my confidence about who God says I am and about who God says He is. I lost the control I so desperately “needed” in my life. However,  what I found was much greater than what I had lost. I found that even in the midst of my uncertainty, God was working. He was teaching me and speaking to me in ways I did not even recognize was Him. I found joy in the laughter of new friends. I found comfort in the multitude of encouragers that surrounded me. I found new qualities and traits about myself. I found out how to be okay with not knowing what the future holds (or at least trying to be okay with not knowing). I found that two of the most vital things that I need to do in this season of my life is to trust and believe .  Trust and believe that God, the Writer of my story, is in control. That He will come through, not in my timing or in the way I think that He s...